


A Song Sung in English

by Micromeichi



Category: Vocaloid
Genre: Comedy, M/M, Oliver/Len is a subplot don't get yer hopes up kids, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-11
Updated: 2017-04-07
Packaged: 2018-05-19 16:09:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5973610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Micromeichi/pseuds/Micromeichi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first Vocaloids sung in English, LEON and LOLA. </p><p>Sweet ANN and Big AL , along with Miriam and Sonika came in Vocaloid2.</p><p>Oliver, along with YOHIOloid, and Avanna were released for Vocaloid3.</p><p>Even after all this time, they were always pushed to the wayside of the Japanese singing ones.</p><p>Not for long, if Oliver was going to have anything to do with it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Release Day

        Thinking back to the day I was released, it was a surprise I got the reception I did . Fairly well, popular even. Not as good to have my name in lights or anything, but it was pretty nice.

        I have a family over at PowerFX, and out of the English-singing Vocaloids in general. By the time of my release there weren't many, LEON, LOLA, Miriam, Prima, Sonika , and the people I knew closely, Sweet ANN and Big AL. Now, that seems like quite a few, but in comparison to the Japanese singing Vocaloids, especially by the time of my release, my 'family' was a speck of dust. Especially as far as popularity was concerned.

        "Hey guys, the new squirt's demo broke a record!" I remember hearing Big AL saying one day as release loomed over my head. As merely manifestations of code, we zip through cyberspace as if it were a world of its own. Right now the other 'Engloids' and I sat on Nico Nico Douga, kind of a Japanese you tube and oddly enough where my demo was.

        My little song? Breaking what record?

        I kinda half wanted it to be the record of "least views within a week." As my demo song was kind of....childish? It's called Dinky Dink. Please keep your inferences to yourself.  I mean, I'm designed to be 13! What is this!? 

        "Most views within a week of release!" Sweet ANN announced , her voice full of pride. 

        WHY.

        Well, that was the end of me. I was about to go wallow in a hole of pity when I heard a voice behind me, in semi-understandable Engrish. 

        "So, who's this new kid I've been hearing about?"

        I knew that voice, who didn't? I froze where I stood and I started to scream inside.

        A fellow Vocaloid, the most popular of them all. The cyber superstar , Hatsune Miku.

        I felt her hand get placed on my shoulder, and the scream was freed. 

        "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HOLY SHIT." I screamed, scampering forward.

        "Well, that was very rude." Now I saw the diva, and I heard that she looked like a futuristic deity, but that was thrown out the window when I saw her. She literally radiated, yes, but her face was full of sass, as her huge blue pigtails swaying as she placed her hands on her hips. "You should be nicer to someone who can kill your entire career. Now I know why you Engloids are about as well known as the program you originated on."

        This was hatred I was feeling. Great, great great hatred. This glow in the dark blue brat was the most famous Vocaloid of all!? Sweet ANN was way more deserving of this! Big AL was more deserving of this! I'll even give Leon and Lola more of a chance than this! 

        I grumbled. What a first impression, both on Miku's part and mine. To be honest, I probably shouldn't have screamed bloody murder when all she did was touch me. Regardless, it was in the past. 

        Big AL proceeded to get Miku to leave, trying to say as politely as he could that he'll arrange a meeting some other time. Sweet ANN then looked at me with a stern expression.

        "Really? Screaming?" She asked me. 

        Yeah, I know. 

        "I know your still fairly new on this scene, but honestly you need to pull yourself together. Despite what you may be marketed as, you're not a child. " 

        Shame filled me as I hung my head low. What an idiot I am. 

        I could hear Miriam talking about how she was excited about taking me to meet the other Vocaloid 3s after my release. 

        Can I tell you that I'm probably the only Vocaloid ever that wants to flop?


	2. First Impressions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver meets the other Vocaloids, saving the best for last. Supposedly.

        What have I done to deserve this. My cheeks are sore from all the pinching. I have done nothing.

        Actually, I did do something. Exsist. Now, it wasn't my fault that the lady Vocaloids were fascinated with me when they came over to the Engloid place to come meet me after my release, as Sweet ANN had to throw a party to celebrate.

        And it wasn't because I was just that handsome that the ladies were swooning. I wouldn't be complaining if that was the case. I can sum up my frustration with a single phrase that was told to me one to many times. Just thinking about it almost makes my blood boil.

        "You're so CUTE!"

        Replace 'cute' with 'adorable' or 'sweet' and you've got 90% of the comments I heard about me today.

        Let me tell you it was not appreciated. I'm in no way cute! I'm just, designed to be a little choir boy with a soprano voice and a young face- okay I'm cute. Wasn't my fault, when the artists came around to doing their art thing for me, they were looking for competition for Len "Fuck you" Kagamine. Actually I think it's "Damn you" but I am in no mood for specifics. Leave that weirdo to his weirdness. I want to be my own Vocaloid. A MAN. Not a choir boy.

        ...I don't think a man would spew his thoughts into a unknowing abyss. Who am I talking to anyways? I think you, you're reading my suffering, yes? Hi Reader, I'll call you that. Sorry about all my complaining, I'm rage packed into an adorable voicebank. Oopsie daisy, I guess.

        Anyways, I'm on a mission. I'm going to try and change my image, be a little more mature. Mature sells, right? ....considering Big AL and Kaito, maybe not. But didn't I not want to sell before? Wow, am I conflicted. ...I guess I'll just go with whatever works at this point.

        But as far as actual narrative, I was sweeping up the floors of the Engloid house after the party because everyone else was passed out and hungover (Guess who's not allowed to drink? Me.) When I heard two voices, perfectly in sync, speak from behind me.

        "Hoi, I think were late!"

        Oh my god. Why this.

        I thought the Kagamines weren't invited. I thought I was free.

        "Nope, not today Oliver. " I could hear the universe say that in my ear as is metaphorically flipped me the bird. Fuck you too, universe.

        "Oh, um, hello..." I muttered, setting down the broom. My goldfinch, James, hid in my hat. James knows whats up. 

        Rin, the female of the two twins, instantly ran over to me and took off my hat. "Oh my god! You have a bird! He's so adorable I want to pet him!" She squealed as she tried to grab James, his response being to screech and fly of as fast as he could. Now that Rin was chasing my poor bird around the house , the latter screeching so loud I had to rub my temples while covering my ears. Len was doing similar.

        "I'm sorry about my sister!" He shouted, well considering that we were both covering our ears, it sounded to be at an appropriate volume to me. "She really likes animals!"

        "Birdy!! Come back!" Rin said over and over as the chased continued. Now the other Engloids were waking up and I was in big trouble.

        "Wh..? Oliver, wat's with the racket?" Leon said as he stumbled to regain his senses. "Make ya damn bird be quiet!"

        Rin stopped in her tracks when she heard Leon as James returned to safety on my shoulder. "H-how many of you are here, exactly?" She asked.

        "Ol..Oliver?" Big Al stumbled into the living room with Sweet Ann, also awakened by the racket, as Rin begun to scream .

        "IT'S- IT'S FRANKENSTEIN AND HIS WIFE! I'M GONNA GET EATEN!" I have never seen someone run out of that house so fast. Good riddance, in my opinion. Len just watched his mirror image just flee, with an emotionless expression on his face.

        "....welp. Can't say I'm surprised about her reaction." He said, with a slight shrug of his shoulders. "Her fault that she can't see better."

        Ice cold.

        Len then turned to me and waved. "Sorry again about all that, and for being so late. You're Oliver, right?"

        I nodded, not saying anything. Not only because I couldn't bother, but James had taken shelter in my hat again, and I could feel his little talons carving their way into my head and if I made a sound it'd be one of extreme pain.

        Apparently Len took notice. "Hey...you okay there buddy..?"

        I couldn't hold this in anymore.

        "JAMES GET OUT OF MY HAT I'D LIKE TO KEEP MY FUCKING SCALP."  I screamed at the top of my lungs , mostly in  pain and frustration. Len just stared at me all awkward like and just slowly backed out of the house.

        Great first impressions I was making. I guess I could be called "a weird as fuck freak" along with "cute".

        Don't know which is worse really. I'm still going to go with 'cute'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I initially wrote this at 10 pm. I still have no regrets.


	3. Don't Fight USBs over Tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trip to the market didn't go as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bad puns and a possible antagonist ahoy. Enjoy this mess and tell me what you think in the comment box below, yo.

        Out of all people I could get into an argument with, it was a human electric plug.

        No, excuse me, human USB port. Gotta make specifics here.

        Either way, I got into an argument with Utatatatatatatatatane Pikachu this morning, and I was only going down to the market to get a breakfast sandwich (I don't trust anything that's in the house right now so I'm freeloading off Al's money to buy my own food) .

        Now, you'd expect that just going to buy a bacon, egg, and cheese bagel sandwich would be an easy feat. And it was, however, god forbid I want to get Snapple.

        I was minding my dandy old business, scanning the shelves for some form of the tea, only to see one thing of it left in the store's open freezer, so I reach out to grab it, and sure enough another hand much paler than mine reached out to my preferred beverage.

        "Yo runt, get out of my way."

        I was being threatened by none other that Utatane Piko, one of the more underrated VOCALOID2s. If I could convey sarcasm through text, I'd tell you I was terrified. However, I can't so I am going to tell you that he was the least threatening person I had ever seen.

        I grabbed the Snapple and stared at him. "I was here first, excuse you." I tried to say as politely as I could.

        Then, for some odd reason, Piko started laughing really loud. "You honestly just said that?! I've been doing this every day since before you were released, British pipsqueak! I'll 'be here first' until you're retired! Now give me that!"

        At this point I couldn't believe he was saying such petty things about me over such a petty situation, but since I am a mature individual, I stuffed the Snapple in my coat and walked past him to see how my sandwich was doing, stepping on his cord tail in the process on pure accident.

        "What the hell, pipsqueak!? Do you want to fight!? I'll give you a fight!" Now Piko sounded angry, as was that a spark coming off his weird P shaped cowlick? I certainly didn't to find out!

I said I was sarcastically scared before, but now I was legitimately terrified. I took my breakfast and threw a 20 dollar bill on the desk before running back to the Power FX house as fast as my tiny legs could carry me. It was too early for this crap. What time was it? 9 AM? Far to early to be fighting people.

        Once I got back, I threw the door shut and started wheezing, while SONiKA stared at me with the most puzzled expression on her face. How was she here. She didn't live here. Why wasn't she at the ZeroG house.

        "Um, Ollie, are you alright? You look like you've seen a ghost..." She said, furrowing her brow.

        Taking a deep breath, I told her that nothing was wrong and darted off to the kitchen, where Sweet ANN and Big AL were talking over coffee. They too, looked at me with puzzled expressions.

        "Oliver? Is everything alright?" AL asked me.

         I didn't answer him, just took a look, slow bite out of my bagel, keeping eye contact with him as I chewed it. I eventually was going to respond, until there was a furious knocking at the door.

        "OPEN UP NEWB! I KNOW GOOD AND WELL YOU LIVE HERE!"

        Piko. Pik oh no. He had found me. Did he follow me home like a weird stalker? ...I didn't want to know the answer to that question. 

        AL narrowed his eyes. "Oliver, I'm going to ask again. Is everything alright?"

        THAT'S when I had to tell Al everything that had happened in the past hour as Piko's knocking only got louder. After what felt like a church confession, AL said "I'll take care of it" before hiking up to the door.

        If nothing else I am now worried for Piko.


	4. 私は日本語を話すことができません (I can't speak Japanese)

        I think it's obvious to know by now, but I'm an English voice bank. I can only speak English, though if a producer was determined enough, they could make me spit out something, and it'd actually sound OK because English has more syllables than Japanese or some weird linguistics crap.

        The way Japanese Vocaloids spoke in English though was so weird. It was really accented and choppy , but at least they tried I guess. Though it was hilarious to hear Piko's glitchy choppy swears as Big Al dragged him out of the house the other day. Wish I had caught it on camera.

         Initially I thought all Vocaloids spoke 1 language and the Japanese ones were just really bad at talking. That is, until I heard them sing.

        "Sekaaaaai de ichiban ohime-sama,  
Sou iuuuuu atsukai korotoeneeeeeeeeeeeee  
YO NE!"

        I had no idea why I was here, or how I got here. Correction, I did, but I didn't know how it was possible. Here I was, sitting in the room of Len "Damn You" Kagamine, watching concerts and Music Videos. 

   Now, it was probably because he wanted to show me what being a vocaloid is all about or something to that extent, and to a degree I was learning.  But then he started discussing the meanings of the songs and I didn't know how to tell him that I didn't understand a word of any of it. It was all greek to me, or in this case, Japanese.

      "Ah, this is my favorite! " Len said, disturbing my train of thought,  zooming to put on a song called Tululila Talila Tulula, which was bizarre even in name.

      " Ruuretto mawaseba  
subete ga mawari dasu yo  
nana iro ni kirakira  
twinkle&blink tururira tarira tururaaaaa!"

    Like I said, this made no sense to me, but it sounded awesome. Len had a singing voice that was something else let me tell you, it sounded young yet smooth at times, andto a degree se- I'm not going to finish that thought. Bad Oliver, bad. 

      I tried to pretend that I was a Native Japanese Speaker and Totally Knew What Len Was Talking About (tm) , but as I excpected, he figured me out.

      "You, don't understand a word I'm saying, do you?"

      "Absolutely not."

     "Oh my god I'm so sorry-"

      I should've spoken up earlier, as it was far more interesting having Len ramble on about these songs and about what they meant in English. Besides since he was mainly just infodumping, that required little input on my part, which is good because I never know what to say. I was trying to pay attention the best I could, but one phrase caught my attention in particular. 

        "And this song is like, a euro-dance song sung by Piko-"

        "Wait , Piko?"

        Never thought I would hear his name again, he wasn't an especially popular guy from what I had heard, and for good reason.  That guy was a serious asshole.

        "Yea, Piko," Len said, looking at me sort of confused. "I mean, he doesn't have a lot of original songs, sure, but you said that like you had never heard of the guy. Have you?"

       "Oh I've heard of him-" I stopped myself before I ranted on about the other morning's events. "We're not on the best terms."

      Well, at least I garnered a chuckle out of him. "No one is. He's got a stick up his ass, and I don't mean the usb plug. Don't worry about being on his bad side, he's not really 'all that' ." He said, lightly punching my shoulder. 

      He wasn't giving me any information that I hadn't already known, but I rolled with it. "Ah, well that makes me feel better at least." 

     After a weird, awkward silence, Len layed back onto the floor and propped his feet onto his dresser as he started questioning me about those at PowerFX. Apparently he didn't talk to Engloids much before me and was curious. Understandable I guess, and Sweet ANN and Big AL don't look to approachable despite the fact that they were the two kindest people in the world. No matter though, as I soon found myself in the same position as we talked about mindless things, and probably would have been there all night if Rin hadn't interrupted us telling me that it was damn near 10 pm and I probably needed to go home. 

      There were better ways I could've spent my day than watching videos and talking about random nonsense with Banana Head, but at the same time there were a lot more worse ways. Besides, I think I was starting to take a liking to Len, at least as a friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IS THIS AN INCOHERENT MESS? YES. AM I HAPPY WITH IT? ? ABSOLUTELY. ENJOY. Also the Japanese is Google Translated that's kinda the joke--


	5. Did everyone forget I was 13 or what

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver dives through his search results for the first time. This kills the man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY FIRST UPDATE AFTER A YEAR AND ITS FILLER! Ok I'm trying to write Vocaloid more regularly and this is kinda my kickstart. Also its 3 am. Toe tap a flea
> 
> BUT REALLY THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING SO PATIENT AAAAH I LOVE YOU ALL!! Your comments and kind words are everything to me, thank you so much! I'm gonna get a regular updates thing going on as well as starting the actual plot woo hoo!

Alright. Let me make this clear.  
Vocaloids don't ACTUALLY sing every song that people like you put through the Vocaloid program. You all just use my voice to sing your weird covers of pop songs.

(You're welcome by the way)

That said, I also don't know what ORIGINAL songs you all make with me. 

With that out of the way, I need to say this:

_ALL OF YEH ARE BLOODY SICK AND TWISTED ._

Ok let me explain, trust me there's evidence to back up my claims.

So, apparently its a game amongst us singing robots to google our names on Nico Nico Douga and YouTube like the self hating bastards we are and see what comes up. 

Sometimes we find good music. Alot of the time if you're a Japanese vocaloid, English. ...eh.

You also find a lot of covers! And I mean a fuckton of covers! A bloody fuckton! Good covers, bad covers, covers of songs in languages we're not supposed to sing in, covers of memes, memes, MEMES! Fair enough though, what are you gonna do with a 100$ voice in a box if you can't make music yet.

I believe in you though. 

You can do it. 

That's not the sick and twisted part though. 

The sick and twisted part is when you type in "VOCALOID OLIVER" on the Tube of You and you find yourself king of a kingdom you never wanted to be a part of.

Because that's what happened to me.

It all began with me, Sonika, Len, and the Other One surrounding a laptop, in the url box, http://youtube.com/ .

We were in.

It was time.

I sat in a big swively office chair, Rin was clinging to the back and Sonika and Len were practically breathing down my neck.

"Pull the trigger Oliver," Sonika said, trying to sound serious with her glitchy voice. She never sounded serious.

"See what the people want, what they do Oliver. What do they desire," muttered Rin, almost hissing and kinda weirding me out a little.

"Remember you can't stoop as low as me," Len reassured me, though he'd be eating those words in a hot minute.

My hands cautiously pressed keys. In the search box, read "VOCALOID OLIVER".

It was juice and jam time.

I pressed enter, the page loaded slowly, building up the tension, as if we were all about to pop like a bubblegum bubble expertly blown by a very bored boy. Say that 3 times fast I dare you.

Finally the page loaded and HOLY SHIT.

"Ok nevermind holy fuck Oliver."

Now I'm no doctor or anthropologist, but something tells me that eating spiders is not a good idea and neither is dying or murder.

Why was there so much spider eating and dying on my search results. Don't do that that's nasty. 

To be fair there was only 1 spider eating song and its pretty good, and so were the songs about death, hell some of them were VERY good but you didn't hear that from me. Also there's vague whimsical pumpkin body horror and a love song. Those were good too.

However,  the comments were a different story.

"Oliver is the perfect yandere~! So sweet...so innocent. ...so evil >:3c"

"Oliver is the new king of Vocaloid Horror! All hail!"

1) I need an adult

2, and you gotta read it like that one song in the Lion King) I REALLY DON'T WANT TO BE KING 

Sonika was jealous "I wish I had that many good originals, consider yourself lucky!" I'm not.

"Yeah, you got some talented producers with you!" Added Rin. 

"I'm. ..impressed?" Len finished.

You see, with good producers that make weird music comes really weird fans. And with that comes really weird fanfiction, which is how you came to read this.

Don't be weird, don't eat tarantulas, don't kill people with ponybombs. It ranges from weird to illegal. Don't be illegal either. 

(That said, maybe my new resume could help with the UTAU Pikachu problem)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I love Steampianist's music don't hurt me I'm having fun


End file.
